Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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