yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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