Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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