You can't motorboat a personality
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
