You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
