On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I bet he comes in French.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
