if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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