Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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