what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
