Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
