You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
