she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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