My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
