i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
