I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
