I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
