So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
