Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
