Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just pee around me
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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