you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
