just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
