things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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