But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
