This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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