if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
