You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
