i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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