Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
