Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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