I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
