I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
