I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
