Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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