I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
