The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
