Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Watching her eat just hurts me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
