After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
