Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
