3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
