They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
