i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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