You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
