No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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