"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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