i just google imaged poop.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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