she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
