i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A bitchslap is in order.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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