I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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