And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize