Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
