i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
