im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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