he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
