1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
