Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
