she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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