then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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