Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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