Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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