I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
