he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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