In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
