Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
