Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
