If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
