you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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