That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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